Not all behavior is good or bad. Some of it would be neutral, in-between, so-so or just simply being nice. Actually it’s either good nor bad, neither positive or negative. If for example you’re not regarded as someone who’s nice, to change that impression would be pretending to be a nicer person to yourself and others. We usually come with a long list of positive looking good actions and nice words to say.
There’s actually a simpler way to achieve the goal of “being nice” so to speak. All you have to do is to aknowledge your inauthenticity and admit that you’re being an a-what or a jerk. It’s not that you’re a jerk, you are just “being” one. You don’t have to think of new ways to be nicer to people. You don’t have to do anything, just stop being a jerk, period.
So next time when someone offers a mediocre idea in a meeting, don’t criticize it. Just get it, acknowledge the person and say nothing after.
When someone challenges your decisions, don’t reason out or argue. Again, simply acknowledge and thank the person and say nothing else.
Thank them and say nothing. That’s it!
Marshall Goldsmith, author of What Got You Here Won’t Get You There points out choosing between becoming a nicer person and ceasing to be a jerk. Which would you choose? Which is easier to do? Being a nice person requires a concerted series of positive acts of commission. Being a jerk is nothing more than an act of omission.
The Game Changer 